Rage

So my PW group have been working hard to get good results for OP, and we thought everything was pretty smooth.

Then today, during a rehearsal, my teacher literally went 吹毛求疵 and just criticised my slides and presentation like mad.

My OP exam was 4 days later.

And then he stopped me midway through my presentation and said that I was too fast. This was not a new thing to me, he was literally saying the same damn thing from the first rehearsal. I can guarantee you that I've been putting in effort to slow down and I don't know howwwww ssslloowwwww mmuusssttt I go. It's really infuriating.

I admit that I talk too fast when I present. But I when I do so I become natural, as I speak like that. Today, when I tried to slow down, my pitch went lower and I talked in such a way that it was somehow comical and mocking. I felt uncomfortable but I could not get back on track from there. Even my group member felt like I was "guailan" with that tone. If my teacher felt the same, I guess I can only defend myself by saying that I did not have the energy to sustain my usually high energy level speeches.

I am not saying that I am the best speaker, but I had been expecting myself to get low EE for both categories since the 2nd formal rehearsal. Wei Bin got low EE with ease and said that it's because of differing teachers' standards.

I can only pray that is true.

Without a doubt, I am loud. I can express myself. But clarity, maybe not so. Might mince those words like bak chor mee. Still, I am definitely above above average. I'm sure of that. I don't deserve this marks!

Now, when I present, do I really need to have that nagging thought in my mind to slow down? Must I really slow down for the sake of slowing down? Those are just distractions, barriers hindering me. I am a born rapper, a Mike Shinoda! (jk, but rly)

Back to the drawing board? No. I will examine my pace again and if it's alright to me, it will be alright. I have enough pauses in between, enough emphasis already, enough of OP, enough of PW.

There's no fixed standards in this world, and I'l give my best shot on Monday. After that, I'll get back my promo results. Let's get good results!!!

Even though all this garbage happened, causing today to become rather overcast, I guess there were still some bright patches of sunlight, giving me warmth.