Rage

So my PW group have been working hard to get good results for OP, and we thought everything was pretty smooth.

Then today, during a rehearsal, my teacher literally went 吹毛求疵 and just criticised my slides and presentation like mad.

My OP exam was 4 days later.

And then he stopped me midway through my presentation and said that I was too fast. This was not a new thing to me, he was literally saying the same damn thing from the first rehearsal. I can guarantee you that I've been putting in effort to slow down and I don't know howwwww ssslloowwwww mmuusssttt I go. It's really infuriating.

I admit that I talk too fast when I present. But I when I do so I become natural, as I speak like that. Today, when I tried to slow down, my pitch went lower and I talked in such a way that it was somehow comical and mocking. I felt uncomfortable but I could not get back on track from there. Even my group member felt like I was "guailan" with that tone. If my teacher felt the same, I guess I can only defend myself by saying that I did not have the energy to sustain my usually high energy level speeches.

I am not saying that I am the best speaker, but I had been expecting myself to get low EE for both categories since the 2nd formal rehearsal. Wei Bin got low EE with ease and said that it's because of differing teachers' standards.

I can only pray that is true.

Without a doubt, I am loud. I can express myself. But clarity, maybe not so. Might mince those words like bak chor mee. Still, I am definitely above above average. I'm sure of that. I don't deserve this marks!

Now, when I present, do I really need to have that nagging thought in my mind to slow down? Must I really slow down for the sake of slowing down? Those are just distractions, barriers hindering me. I am a born rapper, a Mike Shinoda! (jk, but rly)

Back to the drawing board? No. I will examine my pace again and if it's alright to me, it will be alright. I have enough pauses in between, enough emphasis already, enough of OP, enough of PW.

There's no fixed standards in this world, and I'l give my best shot on Monday. After that, I'll get back my promo results. Let's get good results!!!

Even though all this garbage happened, causing today to become rather overcast, I guess there were still some bright patches of sunlight, giving me warmth.

Post promos

Ah, I'm back here! Without the stress of studies on my back.

Well, except PW. After promos, there will be 2-3 weeks of non stop PW madness. All for the preparation of OP.

How was my promos, you may ask? (giving myself hypothetical questions) Well, I felt quite relieved that I did not encounter any health difficulties during the whole week. Fortunately I did have a blast from my stomach like a few days later during the weekends. If that happened during the exams, man I will really curse and swear.

Even though I made a timetable a few weeks before the promos, I did not manage to follow it due to homework. Alright, it may be excuses, Fifa 15 was released on mobile before the promos, what the hell EA! What the actual f888. Out of all timings! So the timetable was redrawn and redrawn up to the point then it started on the 2 day study break that was given to us. The very sufficient study break at least kick started my revision.

I think I will not elaborate on my exams, it may just give me more paranoia at this stage. But I did considerably well, at least for myself, for most of the papers as I managed to finish, somewhat. Was too slow for Chem, lost 10 marks. Math was the usual AJ standard so probably 15 marks there. The rest, hey I think it was managable.

Ah, GP. Not sure if anyone had realised this but I'm in fact a rather ballsy person when it comes to only one thing. Choosing topics for English essays. I'm the man that does questions no one does. "Does the past matter to people nowadays?" was my essay question. Sport? Technology? Media? Eff that shit, we got the past! And this only happens during major exams! Promos nia!!

This led me to another interesting fact, I wrote about Mahatma Gandhi for my GP essay. Alright, fair enough. What so special? The fun part was that I read his wikipedia article before the day of GP, as I watched Epic Rap Battles of History between Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr. I then wrote about his peaceful protests for the caste system to be abolished and the salt trade in my essay, portraying him as a role model for the future generations to look up to. Thus, we need to cherish the past! Swee la!

Alright, stop laughing. At least now I know ERB helps in GP.

Back to the present, my class just had an OP workshop with an angmoh teacher today. I did pretty well, my voice echoed in the classroom like it should have and I was animated. Unfortunately Mr Mok wrote that I was reading too much from my script!!!!??!/! Alright I admit I was using an A4 paper as a script but I GAVE EYE CONTACT DAMN IT!

And I spoke too fast. Old problem. I will speak slower anyway for the real thing just to drag time. Only had 3.5 mins worth of stuff to talk about. Totally not a coincidence!

Time for me to emo now. Why do the people I care about not care about me as much as I do? I can't force it upon them but I can only look on and wonder what could've been. If I had the balls to do things that I should be ballsy to do, how different would I be today?

If I'm an adult now I'll probably be downing some beer.

Priorities

Ah. Time to expand on my writing skills.

For memory's sake, I'm going to recall my MYCT results.

Rank points 21. That's all I need to say.

Alright, now onto today's topic. After getting my results, where to next?

I should embrace the AJ spirit in me and get that pen moving right? I think I should. I think I need to. I think I will. I think I must.

But alas life is not that straightforward. If I could study and study without getting a mental breakdown, I would. But my mind has been very distracted nowadays. 

A part of me has my mind on programming. Yes, C++. I've been learning from my CCA mates for a few weeks now and have been utterly demoralised at the intensity of problems I will face for competitions. I have an upcoming AIO competition and NOI next year, AIO being 10 times easier than NOI. And let's put it this way, I can't solve an AIO question currently. Mohideen only got a bronze for NOI last year. Mohideen can develope a website. I took up programming a few weeks ago.

Cool story bro.

I've learnt loops, mathematics functions, "Hello World" and I thought that was bad enough. Now we got to calculate how many ways can I arrange children on a merry-go-round. What is this son of a mother...

I do admit, my initial aim was to enter a Computer Science course in an University. After experiencing programming first hand, (not counting Java because that shit is way screwed) I now have second thoughts. Mohideen did tell me however that the learning is limited, but the practice is madness. The problems can be anything and everything. So it's more on my logic. 

Surprise, who was that guy who did badly for his Math paper as well?

Now onto a part where I'm less comfortable with. My mind has been preoccupied with a certain someone as well. 

Spoiler alert! Why am I telling this blog only? Probably only Jing An reads it now! Hi Jing An!! 

I still am confused with the concept of love, crush and "ec". Why do people even have an ec? Why not have a GC? 

(crickets)

I think I read upon an article or something that was floating along Facebook that stated that a crush could only last a maximum of 3 months or something. I'm approaching that point already. Why is it leading up to this way? F***********

Again, my situation right now is not ideal at all. My studies are in ruins, I am procrastinating every now and then and my programming knowledge is pathetic. Getting into a relationship? That takes a lot of guts.

Bryan the love master told me that getting into a relationship may actually spur me on. But there's two sides to a coin. And on a sidenote, this specific person was on his Top 10 (or 11, keeps changing) list! And he stroke her out of the list because I ACCIDENTALLY let the cat out of the bag for some reason (What a sideman! S/O to Bryan mah man!) This was, I believe, the first time I had actually let my mouth slip. And at the person I am looking out for too! What the duck?

Well, I'm using the hypothesis that she accepts me. And judging by my status/comparison to other available guys... Keke. Damn my self esteem though. LOL

Recently a couple of my CCA mates, Zachary and Minton asks why do I look sad. I replied "I always look sad."

Maybe because no one is there to make me happy.

I'm lonely~~

Writing this update before the mid year tests.

I've been with my class for a couple of months already and I think my classmates are relatively alright, half of them are quiet, a quarter normal (I consider myself normal) and a quarter having voices with elevated decibels.

I'm not one to flame people, especially when it's only been a couple of months LOL so I'm going to have to be more vague in my post. But I highly suspect anyone from my class would stalk me to this extent though.

Here's something I found out in JC : Put in a students from 50+ secondary schools into a common institution and you'll get a fusion of culture, crazy crazy fusion. It's immensely overwhelming, after if realised the people around me are not the same usual Andersonians I see.

I also now understand better why ex-Andersonians miss Anderson so much and refer it to their home. (I'm referring to my secondary school btw heh) I don't exactly feel the same way and to such an extent, but an honest opinion is that I find Andersonians more welcoming, more sincere and 亲切, more warm than the people I met in JC. It's a bit strange, I'm not sure if it's the so called 'Anderson' culture (referring to both here) or if it's my social skills declining. The Andersonians just exude an aura of "You can be my friend" , even if, you know, we do not talk at all! Or maybe its the fact that we are a smaller batch as compared to the whole freaking J1 cohort.

I wonder how other secondary schools are like. But I like Anderson's one just fine.

Back to my friends, cough, I honestly wonder if I have made any new friends. Seriously.

There's a clique of boys in the class, an immensely obvious and strong one. But I'm not in it. From my class, I talk to only a couple of guys often. They are the more approachable ones, more open to me as well. Thus I hang out with them relatively 50% of the time.

I'm not sure if I have a clique, the guys I talk to tend to drift around too. It's not as close as my group of friends back in primary school. Definitely.

My CCA, definitely closer by a bit. Because of the competitions my team go through, the rage that happens during programming, I think that's what makes us closer. Well, I do spend more time with my classmates though...

So what's the problem? I hope I can seam into society and.. get friends? It makes it seem like a possession.

Keke, or I can just become entirely anti social and focus on my studies. If I can't help it why force it...

What the hell does Speech Day even mean?

I'm writing this post because Joy told me to LOLOL

Yesterday was Anderson's (Secondary) speech day and I represented Anderson (Junior College) to give something back to my alma mater! Sounds so fun right! WRONG

I was sabotaged to be the rep for this actually. Jia Hui or Jerlyn targeted me. Just because I said I don't mind going on stage giving the gift. I clearly highlighted that I do not have any ideas on what gifts to give but screw that, I will be the rep!

Befuddled by what I should give, I asked for suggestions. I thought of fans, the boys thought of Khang/Harrick. Wow. I was going on with the fan idea since my father bought a standing fan for $50 just a few days ago. So I asked for $4 from everyone to get 2 fans. Things were going to happen when suddenly Anlly suggested painting with our handprints and pandas and everything thrown into one. So then somehow we got to the conclusion of giving a painting instead, a marvellous idea since it was definitely cheaper than fans.

So I asked for ideas, for volunteers to help me since I ain't gonna do this shit alone. I asked for opinions, for designs, for canvases, basically the details. No one replied. Alright, some did. But the responses from a brick wall was better. I was going nowhere. Frustrated by this, I started to stress out as Afiffah pressed me for the finalised gifts.

Then out of nowhere, Jun Yu said that they wanted to give a panda plushie. Like what the actual F? Seriously, I had to use that. No one. No one told me anything about this. Alright, ideas were what I needed. But could people actually bother to tell me first, so that I don't go mucking around like a blind bat about things that people may or may not agree to? I felt rage back then, rage back now even.

Here's the fun part, Jun Wei said that they did not know where to get the panda from. So we got a non existent panda. Do I tell Afiffah about this or what? Is there going to be anyone able to help me for my dastardly artwork? Why the hell is binomials so difficult?

Continual pressing, Xin Yi volunteered to find the canvas/paint. She got the paint, couldn't get the canvas. Deadline looming, I 'Non Mihi Solum'ed my way to Ang Mo Kio to find canvases. I bought a 2m long grey cloth. Well close enough. I don't even know where to find proper banner material.

Brought it back to school, we hesitated and didn't take action, I showed my frustration to the other Andersonians, they read it fortunately and the next day Regina and Suyi (I think) helped to draw out AJ in the middle with bamboo font and two pandas at the side. I'll try to post photos if Anderson post it on their website. Hopefully...

We stayed back to do work, used the acrylic paint that 2/1 people had from Sec 1 or something. Jun Wei kindly donated his haaaaa. And then Benjamin said acrylic was supposed to be used without water. But screw that, I used Jun Wei's acrylic paint box cover as a palette. Yay Picasso!!

Oh, handprints! Vishnu put pink glitter paint on his hand and stuck it on the cloth. I helped to hammer his hand firmly on it. Turns out the glitter on stuck on his hand. I then tried it for myself since I had to go for CCA. The same happened to me, and my middle finger somehow didn't leave a print on the canvas. Well well well...

Left after an hour because of CCA. Don't want to elaborate on that so let's skip to the next day.

Glenn and whoever who stayed back yesterday (I meant the yesterday of that day, you know what I mean) had done a great job and finished everything, leaving whoever who wanted to leave their handprints there able to do so. Job finished!

The next day (the next day of that day), I left for Anderson (secondary) and sacrificed 1 hour of Chemistry. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Hurried to school with Jie Min, who insisted that I was early and I should take my time even though Afiffah told me to be there by 4. I left AJC at 3.45. This is what AJ PE trained me for!

Oh, didn't mention my Big Blue Blazer Burden. I loaned it from ASC and a mishap happened to the hanger. I hope they don't charge me for it. :(

Anyway got into my seat, almost couldn't find Glenn. (He was the rep too) Talked to Glenn and Jing An, and Desiree too. ACJC gave $18 worth of coffee. Because another JC was giving a coffee machine. Talk about compatibility.

I then became a victim of stealthy snapchats by Jing An and Glenn. Son of a son. Kept sending it to Jodeen/Eileen with the caption "Cool boy". Thanks guys.

Came up, presented the panda (NYJC told us where they got their panda plushie, we got one too, had a purple ribbon around ours while NY's one had a blue one. $50, so who copied who? :p) and the banner/artwork to Mr Ow. I somehow posed with a peace sign with him before unfurling the banner for a photo, unfurled the banner and then posed for another photo (this time no peace). Apparently Alesha (is that her name I don't know sorry :p) took a selfie with the guest of honour on stage before that and Mrs Jai warned me "No selfies ah!".

She didn't say no peace signs though..

I wasn't sure whether I could eat the buffet after the whole event, but Yi Qun said we can pretend as prize winners since there wasn't any verification LMAO. So I ate with Wei Hong, Yi Qun, Yong Xun/Jie. And Yong Xun kept telling me racist jokes from Reeduan, from SP.

Took photos with friends and bros, ate with the footballing bros at KFC, went home after Yong Jie and I talking about life, buying Lao Ban, buying his mum some contraption to hold hot bowls, and yeah, that's about it.

Damn it why did I take so long to write this post? Now my homework is pegged back again.

JC student problems.

AJC

Let's write a lengthy one shall we?

Continuing off my previous post, I woke up on the subsequent day at about 8 (not sure why, guess my body knows better :3 ) and I went to check my phone. Indeed, MOE was efficient. I was posted to AJC.

Hooray..? Well it was my first choice. But I didn't even visit the school before, didn't know how it worked. Everyone had their own opinion on AJC; mostly negative. "Mugger school" "School looks like it was going to collapse" "Chicken rice sucks" (that was from Junyu LMAO) and Daniel described it as "dilapidated place where kidnappers will hide people in" so I was kind of picturing a attap hut with broken doors and teachers and students inside.

So on the first day I woke up early, but slowed myself down because I was not used to the early timing, thus I ran late. Took the 76, thanks to my mother who told me 76 was an alternative to 269 there. (If I didn't know this I'll definitely be later.) Alighted before the interchange because I had NO BLOODY CLUE HOW TO GO TO AJC LOL (no scouting unfortunately) and I walked to the side gate instead, slowing me down even further. I realised that I should have alighted at the interchange afterwards.

Oh, before this. When I was returning from my class chalet, my supposed OGL called me. Her name was "Xinyi" but I wasn't sure of any details because I was unfortunately in an MRT station when she called. She told me to bring $22, water and some stuff. She asked me for my dietary preference and I misheard it as "any questions". Thus, I just spammed her random questions. When she later answered my question and again reiterated her question, I was really embarrassed and said none. I was also supposedly in OG33. (Again was unsure because THANK YOU PASIR RIS MRT FOR BEING SO NOISY)

Never gonna go outdoors when I'm expecting a call already.

On the first day, I went to school in my school uniform, nervous but not as nervous as like going to ANDSS or APS on the first day. I told myself, since my sister can survive, why can't I? When I walked inside, the principal ( I read on the AJC confessions about how Mr Lee actually greets the students in the morning) was standing at the side gate and greeting the new students. Well, this looks promising!

Outside the library a group of J2s were welcoming the noobs and were enthusiastic. I managed to find my way to the AJ Square and saw rows and rows and rows of people. Holy shit. JC ain't joking. The one level here is probably two levels of secondary school students. Considering the number of secondary schools and  junior colleges, I soon realised why. Found a cone with OG33, sat down. Didn't talk to anyone(ShawnSoAntiSocial) but then at least a schoolmate was in my group (Anlly~)

Was sent to the auditorium, sitting on the 3rd floor. Cool stuff. Couldnt exactly remember the details of this part now, but I think the principal introduced us to AJC, Non Mihi Solum (Daniel said he prefered Non Mihile Solum because it was cooler lmao), and how things worked. Then the various teachers/HODs of the subjects came to explain the syllabus and whatnot. Apparently H2 Math was 3 times as intense as A Math.

The great start was suddenly not so great. LOL

The dude beside me from AMK Sec, Mikail then started talking to me because the talks were boring him. Sitting in the auditorium for a few hours also took a toll on me, after a break when I came back I struggled to keep my eyes open. Aircon, y u do dis?

Now things start to get hazy around here. I learnt that I had to buy Graphic Calculators (cool stuff) and my uniform etc., went home, came back the next day, went through a group of seniors with their arms raised (lol), more talks the whole day. Now I was starting to think of my sister saying that her orientation was boring, but then according to the schedule this was supposed to be the 2nd day of Matriculation. Whatever that means... Hmm...

So on the 1st day of Orientation, huat ah time for some fun~~ Apparently OG 33 was in Harlequin, represented by the colour green. There were Raven (black), Roseate (red), Xanthous(yellow) and Cerulean(blue) (Cerulean City..?) Now that I mention it, there were quite a few Andersonians coming with me to Anderson. (hah) Daniel, Harrick, Glenn, Junyu, Junwei, Vishnu just to name a few guys. Xinyi, Jodeen, Kelly, Jiahui, Rachel, Shu Qing for the girls. Oh and Ridhwaan.

So we were all split into different houses, etc. My OGLs were Xin Yi (ooh another one), Gladys, Jia Wei (absent too many times because of station games haaa) and Han Quan. They had to collect our valuables every day (except the firs I believe) and also $2.50 for lunch in the morning, and they struggled to remember my OG's names (I struggled worst). There were 2 Daniels (1 appealed away though haaa) and 2 Shawn(Sean)s in the group. Just to add the difficulty.

Now I can't remember stuff from this time in chronological order but we had many station games, activities among ourselves, dance practices until I was sapped. Also the OGLs kept spamming us to "Drink up". Now that's some good advice, the weather was fit to kill.

Hmmm what did we play? Hmmm Mikail and I had to lift up Charmaine sedan-style and let her take take the cloth out of her opponent (from Jun Wei's OG haa). And we won~ Let's go ma bamboo arms~~

Hmm we had dodgeball (gave me a bruise) the game close to "Virus" where a long chain of chasers have to catch the other runners. Fair play to the guy who helped me up when we tangled up.

Oh, we had went to Level 3 for a skipping rope challenge. You know, the one where everyone have to jump inside this 1km long rope. Finally my frog legs become useful.

As a group, we played Whacko, the MRT game, Duck duck goose. Hmmm... (Shawn's browser cache seems to have been emptied)

Why :(

Anyway here's something interesting, AJ helps us nurture our inner dancer. We had to learn 3 separate dances, first one consisting of Pump It and DJ got us fallin' in love (my favourite), 2nd one Roar and Treasure. Last one is a couple dance, Mambo No.5 :OO:O::O

Spoiler, the whole school chanted "Pump It" after our orientation ended and then we just danced there after they played it LOL. I consider myself quite able to dance this, except when the beat goes too fast and I rage T_T Treasure practically drived me nuts.

Mambo No. 5 was a couple dance, and I was sent to a random OG because my OG had not enough girls. The girl was like so antisocial I felt like I was a socialite all of a sudden. But we had to do twirls, some jazz movements or something like that, ain't dance expert. I can picture myself dancing with my loved one like this in the future keke. Just need more practice and I'm good to go.

Let's talk about the final game, the Colour Fiesta. Basically the game is simple, water bombs, cardboard shields, newspaper lollipops. Defend your candy. I took a piece of cardboard with a hole in a middle and stuck my hand through. And that was how I became a defender of the Harlequin Lollipop. LOL you know everyone wants to throw the water bombs and soak others right? I had a feeling that I should be the shield on that day somehow and thus I volunteered to be the sacrifice. Other OGLs came to the whole mob of tall people with cardboard and wished us good luck. For the first 15 minutes or so very little action occurred, the 5 houses just kept coming closer in the cycle-and-phase concept. We can negotiate with other houses, like make alliances or just be little bitches, and we somehow had always partnered with Xanthous all along. Then suddenly at the last freaking moment, Cerulean people suddenly rushed up to the flanks and sent watery hell! I positioned my cardboard at the middle as I was at the frontline and everyone else covered the top. So hey, why not I protect you guys instead :3 . Anyway the bombs came like fast and furious, really rapidly and strongly. Those that exploded in front of me had the explosive radius of 100000km. Those that landed on the cardboard felt as if someone threw a roll of cloth, except that it splattered so unforgivingly. I was yelping (everybody was) as it rained bombs. It lasted at least 1 minute. When the storm was over, I lifted my shield. It practically changed colour LMAO and I could fold it in four, it became so soft to that extent. Unfortunately the lollipops were damaged :( Even though we had surrounded the lollipops with out bodies and carboard. I thought we were impenetrable but the extent of the bombing was crazy.

Shoes and socks became 1kg heavier too hehehe. Wore my fresh dry shirt wrongly, some OGL told me to change it back (ShawnSoEmbarrassing)

And then the finale. Damn everybody was on drugs. The Music Club performed first and even though I don't know what song they were playing everyone went nuts and some OGs went around dancing in a chain. (got chased back by angry OGLs ahaa) and then the Harmonica Club actually performed Catch Me! Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn I could only recognise it during the chorus. And then the different house OGLs came to dance!wowow and then of course at the end everyone chanted for PumpIt/ClubCantHandleMe and we got what we wanted. Oh, Raven won also. Bloody hell, Harlequin was practically owning everyone for the first 2 days. ShawnSoSad.

My OG wanted to go out for dinner (it was 8 and they only passed around biscuits) and then the original plan of AMK Hub food court somehow changed to Popeyes. Sensing that I should go back, and that I didn't want to eat fried food (throat was crying), I went to Popeyes and took an early leave. Probably should have done so because they kept taking selfies there and spamming the Whatsapp group. (seems legit)

And today, lessons already started! First a PE briefing. Basically I'm in for a rough year. 2.4 is the normal run length. LOL guess you can look forward for a fitter Shawn. Math lecture, didn't finish my homework, (hey I did 2 pages) and the teacher spammed through. Graphic calculators are quite fun to use though. NOT UNTIL ITS MIXED WITH DIFFICULT SUMS!!(&!@$!@

Then a random 2 hour+ break. Random stuff is random.

Physics lecture, basically I'm screwed for Physics.

Ok that's about it. CCA wise I think I'm going to join Hasif in the underworld meddling in Infocomm (somehow this Infocomm is not the cameras/PA system related), aiming to develop mobile apps/ learn flash again because MACROMEDIA FLASH IS SO FUN!!!

If I'm sent back to robotics hell then looks like there's only 1 way to go.

I'll end this off with OG 33, Chartreuse (char-truce in case I forget how to pronounce it, practically no one can) Although not everyone is friendly and sociable (heh) we worked together as one, danced as one, cheered as one, and this is an unforgettable experience. Special thanks to Xin Yi, Gladys, Han Quan (flash hugs !!) and Jia Wei again. They put in a lot of effort for this shit, it makes me have grudging respect for them. Thank you again. (in fact my OG prepared gifts for them today.)

Did I mention I kind of stole the Anderson whoosh whoosh cheer and gave it to Chartreuse?

C IS FOR CHARTREUSE WHOOSH WHOOSH!

Post before JC opens.

I will get my results back tomorrow, and will enter JC on the next day.

Shit just got real eh?

Anyway if you didn't know my results, 10 raw, -4 so it's a 6.

Am I happy? No. Am I sad? No. But it wasn't my ideal result so I do feel some disappointment inside of me.

Some results surprised me, both positively and negatively. Never would have thought my Combined Humanities would be a B4. Fortunately Singapore's L1R5 system is so screwed up it saved my ass. English B3, Higher Chinese C6. If we had used an overall raw score instead, things would be so, so different.

I would like describe my future as 'foggy'. I feel listless sometimes (when I get moody lulz) and fatigued. I figure this would be due to the fact that I do not have a goal and purpose in life. There is nothing pushing me forward.

We go into school, day in day out learning things (which is good) and then come home do work eat sleep repeat. That was practically my secondary school life. Is it meant to be like this?

JC, don't even get me started. According to my sister JC will be the harder, way harder than secondary school. My curriculum will roughly end in the afternoon, about 4. That's not including my CCA. So do work, sleep, repeat. Next day, go back to school. Is there anything else to life?

After education, NS, university (aka education again), go out to work. And guess what? Working life ain't much different! Do work, sleep repeat. That is, of course, if your work isn't ideal.

Is life just about slaving yourself? That's how I currently feel, probably because I do not have a focus at all. And if I do have a focus, if I am working to that focus, I wonder if any thing will change. Maybe I will enjoy my slavery.

We see all those posts on the Internet "Follow your dreams" "Listen to your heart" etc. etc. In an ideal world I say hey, I will do that. But this world isn't ideal and if things doesn't go your way we have a big problem. I do believe that I also lack motivation and the push to achieve goals (if I have any) currently and thus we have another problem, self. I still have not found any focus, the objective that my whole life revolves about, the goal.

I just recalled something. The job of taking care of a few islands in Australia (or so) was described to be 'The best job in the world' by the media. Oh rly? Is it really so? If one does not enjoy that job, is it still the best job in the world?

Which puts the spotlight one one fear that I have. I do not know what my parents' dreams are. But they both work in the office, what we call 'white collared workers'. Day in day out, in the office, in front of the computer, in front of their bosses, slaving away (that's to put it crudely) just to grind out the dough, for who else, but for me. What if the in the future, I become like them? Instead of "following my dreams", I am resignated to do these jobs, forever?

It's all a bunch of 'what-ifs'. Why am I suddenly talking about this? I feel tired today actually lololol (revert back to normal Shawn mode) and when I'm tired I get more philosophical (logic ftw)

Ate flu medicine actually because my nose was leaking non stop. So maybe I will doze off on the computer later.

I really do hope JC life won't choke my soul and strangle my windpipe and esophagus. And my brain.

Until then, lets continue moving on.

Adventure cove

Long day, and I have work tomorrow so I'll try to keep this one concise.

Went to Adventure cove with Sujandren, Jing An and Kai Hon today. Sad it was a few but many rides were dual so having pairs was awesomely convenient.

$36 for ticket.

$20 for big locker.

$6 nachos, cheapest ice-cream $3. Turkey leg $12.

Most slides were alright, but very short.

Let's talk about the best ride there, the one with the longest queue (forgot its name) next to the Dueling Racers (my 2nd favourite). Sharp drops and high speed, really thrilling. Me and Suji were just shouting throughout the whole journey. Dual seater, me sitting at the back and Suji at front. (I had been sitting at the front for the whole day because the heavier seater sat at the back and I lost scissors paper stone LOL but for this ride the heavier guy in front) Raged a lot because we waited 1 and a half BLOODY hours for it, we were queuing when the thing broke down. And then people with express pass have to add on to the misery by cutting the damn queue. Still got on it though so well, no amount of wait can compare to that shit.

Dueling Racers were like racing side by side with another guy on a mat. Really fun also, even though it's short as hell. If it slide left to right it will be insane.

Freaking cold too, light drizzle and sun, repeated cycle for a few times. Me and Sujandren were left freezing in the late afternoon because we waited 1 1/2 hours for the ride and the sudden rush of cold water left us reeling.

Sujandren had a mishap while diving into a 3.5m pool. WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU ADVENTURE COVE WHY IS IT SO BLOODY DEEP (ok I understand it's diving but 3.5 is quite deep!!) He had leg cramp after he dived. Kai Hon had no problem but after seeing the depth I was nervous. I hadn't swum in a year (literally, really really long ago) and of course wild thoughts were in my mind. He was dragged ashore by a Caucasian and the lifeguard (the lifeguard waited for Suji to struggle 3-4 times before saving him!), Suji was ok. It could have been worse, I reckon, but this is bad enough for me and I'm grateful he's alright. Didn't dive in it.

Obstacle course 4m pool if you fall. Thanks ah Adventure cove. Went on the balance beam, skipped the 2 ropes one (KH and Suji were swinging like helpless bitches on that one. Serious doubt on my ability.) but I did the net one, piece of cake. Kh managed to ring the bell on a rope climb. (applause)

Snorkeling. Bloody hell. Ocean water (they had to use it to kepe the fishes) gushed up my nose and into my lungs and stomach and gullet and pancreas and everywhere. The snorkel mask was supposed to seal my nose, but I think a bit of pressure from my nose and water started to spam in. Drank in at least 3-4 mouthfuls of ocean water. I then took out my mouthpiece, struggled for air and slowly paddled my way. The sight was amazing btw. But fugging deep. But really a great sight. Suji had turned back and held me after swimming a short distance, he was still traumatised by the deep waters. I hope he is alright and can overcome this.

A bit late right? I should sleep now. Ate at Japanese food house (I think) at Vivo, in total spent up $60 - $70 over in a day.

Money is precious, life is precious too. Gotta be careful.